


I find peace in the rain

by bearer_of_light



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-08
Updated: 2018-04-08
Packaged: 2019-04-20 09:28:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,107
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14257998
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bearer_of_light/pseuds/bearer_of_light
Summary: I give you the freedom to interpret this any way you want.





	I find peace in the rain

**Author's Note:**

> I give you the freedom to interpret this any way you want.

It was raining the first time I saw you.

I still remember the way you cursed and yelled at the sky for pouring all that water down on your head. I remember thinking how beautiful you were.

I never told you, but I knew you were going to be mine right about the same time you sat down on that wet and dirty bench near the river and gave up on yelling.

I walked up to you and offered you my umbrella. You looked up at me with those blue eyes. I could feel my heart pumping in every part of my body. You looked exhausted but you still smiled when you saw me. 

“There’s no use for it anymore,” you shrugged. 

I closed it and put it away. 

“What are you doing?” you asked me.

“No one should sit alone in the rain.”

I remember how heavy the drops felt when they hit and how fast it got impossibly cold.

We just sat there, in silence, looking at the way the wind was rustling the leaves on the trees in front of us and people running from point A to point B trying not to get wet. 

“You must think I’m crazy,” you said at one point.

“Then what you must think of me.”

There was something magical in the way you laughed. 

“Maybe we should hide somewhere. This thing that we are doing doesn’t seem like a really smart move.”

Thunders were starting to rumble somewhere in the distance and the sky was getting darker with every minute and I knew that we should probably go, run like all those other people.

“I’m Clarke,” you said with the biggest smile I had ever seen. “Let me buy you a coffee.”

I nodded and we both jumped from the bench and ran to the nearest coffee shop. 

The water was dripping down from us and everything around was screaming at us how we didn’t belong but it was the first time I felt like belonging.

* * *

I’ll never forget the second time we were caught in the rain.

We were visiting your parents and were on the ferry back to the mainland. We had our first big fight just hours before it. 

I can’t remember what it was. 

How incredibly stupid that is. I remember how I felt, the sudden and almost unbearable rage not because of you but for you. 

I know it was because of your mother. 

I’ve spent last night tossing and turning trying to remember what it was that made you yell at me like you did but I just can’t. 

I can’t remember.

But I remember the rain. It started to fall when we were half way back. You were in, at the bar, and I was outside.

“You’ll get sick,” was the first thing you said to me in more than two hours. 

“What do you care.” 

“Don’t be a child.”

I closed my eyes and ignored. I wanted you close but I was too selfish to turn around and be closer to you. 

If I try really hard I can still hear the way you called my name. 

“Lexa.”

It was loaded with so many things neither of us was willing to say, do or think. 

“No one should stand alone in the rain.” 

I still know the exact spot your hand was on when you said it.

* * *

It was raining when you first told me you loved me.

I almost forgot about that. It probably has something to do with me not wanting to remember. But it was raining and I didn’t hear or care about it.

The only thing that mattered were the sounds you were making. 

The way your body moved. 

The way your skin tasted. 

The way you said my name. 

The way your eyes burned with something I never was able to name. 

I was about to fall asleep when you whispered it on my chest. “I love you.” 

It sounded so innocent, pure and simple.

I dozed off to sleep with your head under my chin and with a heart so full it was ready to explode. 

First thing I did when I opened my eyes next morning was tell you the same. 

But I’ll always regret not saying it that night with rain on the window and your hand in mine.

* * *

You were on vacation with Raven for 10 days and it rained for 8 of them. I was truly miserable and it took me everything to not show it.

You called and I texted and Raven facetimed me. I saw you smiling and laughing and yelling at Raven and my heart was aching. 

I missed you and I wanted to be with you more than anything in the world. But I never showed and you never asked.

“I missed you so much.” You body slammed me into the bed when you came home. “These were the best worst ten days of my life.” 

“Why didn’t you say something?”

“Because you weren’t saying it.”

“We are so stupid.”

“I love you, stupid.”

* * *

One day I forgot my coat and umbrella.

In my defence it was sunny when I left the apartment early in the morning. As the day went on, the sun went off. It started to rain shortly after I started my walk home from work. 

I thought about running. I thought about calling a cab. I thought about calling you.

But it was a shitty day and I felt like shit and I wanted to walk. 

When I was halfway there I saw someone in red coat walking towards me. I smiled because I knew it was you.

“What are you doing?” I asked.

“No one should walk alone in the rain.” 

You grabbed my hand and put it in your pocket.

“I really love you, you know.”

“I know.”

* * *

Sometimes I still get sad thinking about you. About us. About all that we were, all that we could have been and all that we are never going to be.

I think about our first kiss, how awkward it was and how you laughed. 

I think about our first, and only, apartment. You chose it and I made it ours.

I think about the wedding we’ll never have. The vows you’ll never hear. I know what I would have said. I always knew.

I think about the rain.

It was joy and then it was misery. It’s funny how life can change so much in such a short time. 

I find peace in it now.

But I don’t walk or stand or sit in it.

No one should do that alone.

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry for any and all mistakes.
> 
> Feedback is much appreciated.


End file.
